Attention isn’t the problem
Lately, I’ve been noticing a tension within myself.
One part of me wants to step forward to be more visible: to share ideas, to influence, to make a difference. But another part is pulling the brakes: “Be careful. Don’t look like you’re seeking attention.”
Both voices feel true.
Here’s why I’m even talking about this.
I’m learning that we’re capable of subconsciously sabotaging ourselves from a future we genuinely want. It shows up in small, familiar ways. Here are some examples:
→ Procrastinating on something that actually matters to us.
→ Over-perfecting until we never act.
→ Downplaying our ambitions so we don’t feel exposed.
I’m learning that it’s often our nervous system trying to protect us from judgement, rejection, or the discomfort of being seen differently.
So right now, I’m in the process of discovering what part of me is trying to stay safe when I think about being more visible.
For now, I’m okay to accept this:
Wanting attention isn’t shallow. It’s a natural human need to feel we belong and we matter.
However, there is a key distinction: Are we using attention to fill a hole, or to express an idea?
The wounded version:
❌ Over-identifies with attention
❌ Needs applause to feel okay, and crashes when ignored
While the mature version:
✅ Uses attention as a vehicle for contribution
✅ Isn’t destroyed when it fades
Sometimes it’s both. And that’s okay.
What matters is consciously choosing to grow into a version of ourselves that turns attention into contribution.
Don’t give up on yourself.
Contributor: Kausern Hieu