Leadership is not a popularity contest
It’s about how you add value to people’s lives that will earn real respect.
I’ll be honest. When I first became a manager, I thought being polite, nice, and overly agreeable was the key to earning respect.
I believed that if I could be liked, people would naturally respect me and follow my lead.
I hesitated to make tough calls and avoided difficult conversations, thinking that being “the nice boss” was the safest route, until I learned the hard way: people disengaged and left me anyway, despite me being “Mr Nice Guy”.
Over time, I learned that respect comes when people feel valued and know that they matter through our consistent decisions and actions that show genuine care for their growth, both professionally and as human beings.
Here’s how to earn respect as a leader (without confusing it with being popular):
Be clear on our intent: Lead with the purpose of helping others feel valued.
Communicate with honesty and kindness: People respect a leader who tells them the truth while showing empathy.
Give difficult feedback: Because we care about our people’s growth, we choose to be uncomfortable. Honest feedback is an act of service, even when it feels tough in the moment.
Model high standards: People notice our actions more than our words
Make decisions rooted in our values, not popularity.
In summary, respect isn’t earned through likability, but through our intention and action.