“Everybody is coachable, but not everyone is coachable by you.”
I was frustrated. My client just wasn’t getting it.
“They’re not coachable,” I complained to my mentor.
She smiled and said those words to me.
That statement hit me like a ton of bricks.
As leaders, we often assume that if someone isn’t growing under our guidance, the problem is with them. But the truth is, coachability isn’t just about the learner. It’s also about the fit between the leader and the subordinate, or in my case, the coach and the coachee.
Some people need a direct approach, while others require a gentler touch. Some respond to structure, while others thrive in flexibility. If a leader and their team member don’t align in learning styles, values, or trust levels, it’s not a failure — it’s a mismatch.
So, what should a leader do when someone seems uncoachable?
REFLECT: Is it truly them, or is it the approach?
ADAPT: Can you shift your style to meet them where they are?
REASSIGN: If alignment is impossible, is there someone better suited to guide them?
Not everyone will respond to your leadership. And that’s okay. A great leader knows when to persevere, when to pivot, and when to pass the baton. But before you pass the baton, make sure you've done your part to give them every opportunity to engage. Great leaders don’t give up easily, but they also know when to step back and let someone else take the lead.
What do you think? Have you ever had someone you just couldn’t coach? How did you handle it?