Change your relationship with rejection, change your life
Is it possible to redefine rejection and leverage it to our advantage? Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
‘Rejection’ is a strong word that ignites feelings of inadequacy in the hearts of many. But when you learn how to perceive and respond to rejection, it turns into a superpower.
Whether it's being turned down for a job, passed over for a promotion, or experiencing a romantic heartbreak, rejections are an unavoidable part of life.
Do we beat ourselves up, allowing rejection to fuel feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt? Or do we choose to respond with resilience and self-compassion, recognizing that rejection itself is not a reflection of who we are as individuals?
How we experience and choose to respond to rejection matters. Why? Because it affects our SELF-ESTEEM.
WHEN WE CHANGE OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH REJECTION, WE CHANGE OUR LIFE.
I’ve had a bad relationship with rejection since young. I took every rejection I experienced personally, equating it as a reflection of my self-worth. In the long run, it affected how I showed up in life.
Here is a two-step hack I’ve been practising that has been helping me:
1. ACCEPTING REJECTION
This requires a shift in perspective. Instead of viewing rejection as a personal failure, recognize it as a natural part of life's ebb and flow. Rejection is an inherent risk we all face when we put ourselves out there. The only time we’ll not experience the pain of rejection is when we’re no longer here. Acknowledging rejection as a universal human experience strips it of its power to diminish our self-worth.
2. REDEFINING REJECTION
After accepting rejection, the next step is to redefine it. Here’s how I reframe rejection for myself: Every rejection I receive is not a verdict of my self-worth. It’s just a mismatch of needs, preferences or circumstances. Whenever I’m dealt with the rejection card, I’ll tell myself, “This particular opportunity just didn’t fit me – and that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t make me any less.”
Leonardo DiCaprio, as talented an actor he is, may not be the right fit for every role out there, but that doesn’t mean he is a bad actor.
There are countless ways to redefine rejection, find the one that suits you:
- Rejection means you’re trying,
- Every rejection is an opportunity to learn something,
- Rejection is the fuel to prove them wrong, etc.
How we choose to respond to rejection will determine not only our ability to bounce back from setbacks, but also our capacity to cultivate a resilient mindset and a healthy sense of our self-worth.